What qualities make up a perfect friendship?

A perfect and absolute friendship holds a reciprocal desire for each to have the best life they can possibly have. When the best course of action helps one and hurts the other, compromise must take place. This compromise should include clear communication. Communication is difficult, if not impossible when stressful situations reduce the energy of one friend to listen to the other who needs to be heard.

Time constraints can place added stress to the situation—no time to wait for the stress to be reduced so that communication can freely take place.  One sometimes must simply make a decision and use an appropriate compromise with the friend’s needs in mind, doing the best that they can for them. If it turns out to be the wrong decision, at least you can feel good about trying to do the right thing.

If the friend does not understand, one wonders if the relationship was as reciprocal as one first believed. Yet, one should never assume the worst or take personally the actions or nonactions that can simply be a continuation of the stress.  Stressful conditions make it difficult to take the time to listen well. 

The concept of friendship was discussed at length by Aristotle.  Various types of friendships were outlined.  The perfect and absolute friendship was given the description, telophilia.  I think about the word often.  I’m lucky enough to have some people in my life who I feel have my best interest at heart and I know they feel that I also have theirs.

There have been people in my life who I thought of as very close friends, but I have learned that wishing doesn’t make it so or keep it so.  Communication is a key element in making a good friendship work otherwise, actions may occur unwittingly without understanding situations going on in each person’s life.  Both individuals must be willing to do what is in the best interest of the other and to do so involves continuing to speak honestly with one another, or the relationship falls apart.

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